I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
