so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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