LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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