Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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