You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
