Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
