I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
