Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
