You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
