I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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