come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
