So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
