You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
