I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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