I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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