my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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