so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
