he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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