YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
