Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Go christen that room with your naked body.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
