I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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