I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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