..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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