i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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