im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Oh god it's open bar.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
