Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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