Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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