So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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