In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
