Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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