dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
