Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
