dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
