there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
