I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
