you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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