come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
