My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
