fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
