So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
