I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
