Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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