i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
