I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it's like iHOP with fire
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
