whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
