Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
