we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
