I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
