i don't like sucking hair
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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