At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
