I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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