Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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