idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
why does every cop we meet know your name?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
