Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
