i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
