last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
