She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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