if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
