A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
