Whod you bang
So drunk its hurt
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
