So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
