If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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