I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
