Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dignity is for republicans.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
