Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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