Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
