So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
