i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
