I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
