Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize