i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
