Three words: puerto rican gang bang
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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