you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
