My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize